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    4/22/2008

    自己都不知道

       悲伤像水一样,透明的冰凉,在夜色的掩盖下,肆无忌惮的扩张,吞噬着冰冷的身体。

         有时候感觉真的很累,觉得活着都是麻烦,甚至孤独的无法呼吸,幻想着,某一天我失去了呼吸,然后飘荡在城市的某个角落,五光十色的霓虹灯,衬得自己更加茫然无助。于是,心里的空洞越来越大,大到吞掉整个自己。上帝站在云端,嘲笑着夜的肮脏,嘲笑着我无从躲藏的身影,真的很悲哀。

         也许这个世界真的有阳光照不到的地方,黑暗压抑的像一潭死水一样,专门欢迎孤独的身影,有时候悲伤是不需要眼泪的陪伴,那廉价的东西,怎么能跟致死的悲伤比较呢。哀莫大于心死,越来越体会这句话的意思。

         在我的世界,黑暗与悲伤总是形影不离的,不知道为什么,一伤心就会想到水,那透骨的冰凉,让我清醒不少,阻止自己陷进那漫无边际的悲伤里,它像一朵带着毒的艳丽花朵,用尽一生的努力,绽放最美的一天,然后,死亡……

         空洞的快乐整天在我身上出现,似乎已经习惯伪装。有个人说,“你辛苦吗?”脸上的笑容,不,是已经习惯的伪装,开始支离破碎起来,最后终于溃不成军,不过,习惯就是习惯,马上,笑容就回到我的脸上。我辛苦吗,是的,我很辛苦,可是,那又怎样呢?

         就这样吧,一辈子,呵,还很长呢。

          生活,才刚刚开始而已

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